Wednesday, October 5, 2011
How To Have a Happy Relationship - 5 Tips to Having a Happy Relationshipg a
To have a successful relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend or your wife or husband, you will need to know how to understand him or her. And in understanding them you will need to know how to resolve conflicts and how not to allow conflicts to come even though they will come up but at least you can reduce the rate at which they come up.
I know of many happy relationships and i know of some toxic ones too. How can you make your relationship last forever?How can you have a great marriage? And how can stay forever in love with that special someone? Here are some five tips, i believe if you apply them they will work for you.
First, be mindful of how you interact with your mate. We are often reactive in nature rather than taking the time to truly consider what is being said. We are reflexive, often saying the first thing that comes to our mind. This will cause a bad reaction from your spouse and it will eventually lead to arguments and therefore bring marital or premarital trouble. Good communication is very key.
Second, slowing things down, we can respond rather than react. We can practice remaining calm and listening attentively to what our mate is saying to us.Patience is the key here. Don't react immediately. We can "sit with" their comments, deciding how to best respond. Scripture tells us, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15: 1) To have a happy relationship, you must be patient with your spouse.
Third, stop when we begin to sense a downward spin. A relationship has no hard and fast rule, what works for you may not work for another couple. We can call a Time Out or request that our mate slow down so we can process what they are saying from a calm spirit within us. Taking a break from the action almost always gives us a fresh perspective.You should be free enough to ask your mate for a break when you sense that you are not enjoying the conversation or when you discover that something just does not feel right again.if you want your relationship to last forever then be sensitive and be willing to express yourself always.
Fourth, use "do overs."Be vulnerable. If you have said something hurtful, and are on a downward spiral, consider apologizing quickly and asking your mate if you can start again. Using a soft voice, a gentle tone and a sincere heart, ask your mate if they are willing to start the conversation over.You should be willing to the same thing if she asks you to come again. Be willing to do anything for her for the sake of a happy relationship.
Fifth, be clear with your mate. Ask for what you need. Be specific about what hurt in the past and what you want different. Openess is the key here. There should be no assumption in your relationship. Don’t be demanding or critical, but rather clear, calm and consistent. Keep a open mind and heart before your spouse. Don't hide anything because if you do, it will easily breed lack of trust and you know trust is very very important in a successful relationship.
Finally, use healthy boundaries. There are some topics that cannot be talked about safely without a trained counselor present. Some topics need significant calm and attentiveness and must be prepared for. Some topics need to never be talked about. Be wise in considering whether you and your mate have the skills to talk about the topic at hand in a healthy manner. Know when and where to set your boundries.
I believe with these few points of mine, you have discovered some keys to help you have a long lasting and a successful relationship. Like i always say, never never never give up, as long as you can read this, then there is hope for your relationship.
Friday, September 30, 2011
SUCCESSFUL LIFE COMES BY THINKING RIGHT
What do you really want to achieve that you have not yet achieved? What gives you fulfillment? What motivates you to want to live a successful life?How can you live the life you have always dreamt about?
You remember your old school mate you saw recently at the mall with his family and you saw him drove off in that car that you have always desired so much. How can you live this successful life?
You read an article somewhere about a young man who is living his dream and you wonder when will i start living the way i have always wanted to live?
You have heard many times that the way to happiness and true success and fulfilment is when you become self employed and you started a business which you have always thought about and five months down the line you have lost steam and you have no clue what you are doing again and you just felt as if you have wasted your life.
All the illustrations i have made above has one solution, what do you think about? What you think about is what you attract into your life. That is what this post is all about. How you can attract what you want, how you can attract your ideal life of success. How you can achieve your dreams.
Here are some steps you can take to achieve your ideal life:
1. Think thoughts of good, happiness, joy, goodness, fulfillment. Think of things that make you happy. Think of times in the past that you helped someone and the person was so grateful that you helped them. Think of righteous things. Think of what you would do when you achieve this life that you want. Think of that ideal life that you want.
2. Don't think any negative thoughts. Don't think any bad thoughts.
3. For example if you want to stop smoking, don't think of the pleasures you had when you smoked. Rather associate that pleasure with pain so that each time you think about doing it again, its the picture of the pain that will come to your mind and not the pleasure.
4. For you to live a successful by thinking right, you must persevere and be consistent with maintaining such good thoughts. Just like it is harder to build a house and it takes less time to bring it down, so also its going to take much effort to achieve this new life of success,BUT be encouraged if you don't give up you will get it.
5. Never never never give up. if you want a successful life then go for a life of success and don't stop until you get it.
You remember your old school mate you saw recently at the mall with his family and you saw him drove off in that car that you have always desired so much. How can you live this successful life?
You read an article somewhere about a young man who is living his dream and you wonder when will i start living the way i have always wanted to live?
You have heard many times that the way to happiness and true success and fulfilment is when you become self employed and you started a business which you have always thought about and five months down the line you have lost steam and you have no clue what you are doing again and you just felt as if you have wasted your life.
All the illustrations i have made above has one solution, what do you think about? What you think about is what you attract into your life. That is what this post is all about. How you can attract what you want, how you can attract your ideal life of success. How you can achieve your dreams.
Here are some steps you can take to achieve your ideal life:
1. Think thoughts of good, happiness, joy, goodness, fulfillment. Think of things that make you happy. Think of times in the past that you helped someone and the person was so grateful that you helped them. Think of righteous things. Think of what you would do when you achieve this life that you want. Think of that ideal life that you want.
2. Don't think any negative thoughts. Don't think any bad thoughts.
3. For example if you want to stop smoking, don't think of the pleasures you had when you smoked. Rather associate that pleasure with pain so that each time you think about doing it again, its the picture of the pain that will come to your mind and not the pleasure.
4. For you to live a successful by thinking right, you must persevere and be consistent with maintaining such good thoughts. Just like it is harder to build a house and it takes less time to bring it down, so also its going to take much effort to achieve this new life of success,BUT be encouraged if you don't give up you will get it.
5. Never never never give up. if you want a successful life then go for a life of success and don't stop until you get it.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
THINK LIKE A MILLIONAIRE
What makes a millioniare? A tireless work ethic? A high IQ? luck? Good financial karma?Family Inheritance?None of the above, says Kathleen Gurney, Ph.D., author of "Your Money Personality" and CEO of Financialpsychology.com. Her study reveals that the following set of behavioral characteristics is what makes a millionaire.
1. Millionaires are optimistic.
2. Millionaires are noncritical of their own mistakes. Nothing really throws them.
3. Millionaires take action. They don't get locked in analysis-paralysis.
4. Millionaires listen for opportunity. They don't spend time thinking about what's wrong or why something didn't work.
5. Millionaires have a master plan. i.e., Yale class of 1953 -- 3% had written down their financial goals for after college. When they convened in 1973, that 3% controlled more combined net worth than the other 97% combined.
6. Millionaires feel they deserve every penny they make. There's no guilt.
7. Millionaires are savvy investors (usually save between 15-20% of their income yearly); they know that more risk generates more income.
8. Millionaires do what they love and find a way to make money at it.
9. Millionaires surround themselves with people who believe in them and support their goals. "The general population," says Brian Koslow, author of 365 Ways to Become A Millionaire, will even be in primary relationships with people who don't believe in them, which is very sad--like having a lead weight attached to your ankle."
10. Millionaires are very confident about their money-making skills and love of doing it. "The 'Money Masters,'" says Gurney, as she calls them, "said that if they lost all their money for some reason, they wouldn't be very anxious, because they would just do it over again and get the money back."
If you want to become a millionaire, start thinking like one! Now you know how to do that.
1. Millionaires are optimistic.
2. Millionaires are noncritical of their own mistakes. Nothing really throws them.
3. Millionaires take action. They don't get locked in analysis-paralysis.
4. Millionaires listen for opportunity. They don't spend time thinking about what's wrong or why something didn't work.
5. Millionaires have a master plan. i.e., Yale class of 1953 -- 3% had written down their financial goals for after college. When they convened in 1973, that 3% controlled more combined net worth than the other 97% combined.
6. Millionaires feel they deserve every penny they make. There's no guilt.
7. Millionaires are savvy investors (usually save between 15-20% of their income yearly); they know that more risk generates more income.
8. Millionaires do what they love and find a way to make money at it.
9. Millionaires surround themselves with people who believe in them and support their goals. "The general population," says Brian Koslow, author of 365 Ways to Become A Millionaire, will even be in primary relationships with people who don't believe in them, which is very sad--like having a lead weight attached to your ankle."
10. Millionaires are very confident about their money-making skills and love of doing it. "The 'Money Masters,'" says Gurney, as she calls them, "said that if they lost all their money for some reason, they wouldn't be very anxious, because they would just do it over again and get the money back."
If you want to become a millionaire, start thinking like one! Now you know how to do that.
30 STEPS TO A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP
* Accept differences.
* Be polite.
* Be gentle.
* Give gifts.
* Smile often.
* Talk about dreams.
* Select a song that can be "our Song".
* Laugh together.
* Send a card for no reason.
* Do what the other person wants before he or she asks.
* Listen.
* Encourage.
* Do it his or her way.
* Know his or her needs.
* Compliment twice a day.
* Call during the day.
* Slow down.
* Ask for each other's opinion.
* Show respect.
* Welcome the other person home.
* Look your best.
* Wink at each other.
* Treat each other's friends and relatives with courtesy.
* Admit when wrong.
* Be sensitive to each other's desires.
* Pray for each other daily.
* Watch sunsets together.
* Say "I love you" frequently.
* Seek outside help when needed
* Pray for each other daily
* Be polite.
* Be gentle.
* Give gifts.
* Smile often.
* Talk about dreams.
* Select a song that can be "our Song".
* Laugh together.
* Send a card for no reason.
* Do what the other person wants before he or she asks.
* Listen.
* Encourage.
* Do it his or her way.
* Know his or her needs.
* Compliment twice a day.
* Call during the day.
* Slow down.
* Ask for each other's opinion.
* Show respect.
* Welcome the other person home.
* Look your best.
* Wink at each other.
* Treat each other's friends and relatives with courtesy.
* Admit when wrong.
* Be sensitive to each other's desires.
* Pray for each other daily.
* Watch sunsets together.
* Say "I love you" frequently.
* Seek outside help when needed
* Pray for each other daily
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Living a Successful Life - 5 Tips For A Successful Life
We all desire to have a successful life but not all of us are willing to make the necessary adjustments in our life to make it a successful life. I have compiled a list 5 tips needed for a successful living and anyone that desires a successful life should follow this tips.
Tip #1- Just begin.
This is the most important habit you must develop as long as you want to have a successful life. It’s the start of any objective that is often the hardest for most of us, because we convince ourselves the task will be unpleasant or boring. However, you can trick yourself into believing that you’re only going to work on it for a few minutes. Grab that egg timer and set it for 15 minutes again. Promise yourself you can stop
working after 15 minutes if you want to, but you have to work at least that long. Most often, after the 15 minutes are up, you’re already “in the groove” so you don’t want to stop! I once read a book that is titled "Start With What You Have" , i like that title. You don't have to wait for perfect conditions before you start to live a successful life. Just start.
Tip #2 - Push yourself harder.
If you think it will take an hour to finish a particular task or goal, make it your mission to finish it in 30 minutes. This is one of the best ways that has helped me live a successful life. If you think you’re capable of a certain amount of productivity, push yourself to increase that output by at least half. Most of us have a terrible habit of coddling and pampering ourselves rather than pushing ourselves to be better and do better. Deciding to take it to the next level can motivate you to keep doing that and blast through any feelings of procrastination.
Tip #3 - Visualize the end result.
We usually avoid working hard or pushing ourselves just for the sake of doing so, but if you focus on a positive benefit to completing your tasks and you want to be successful at it then you’ll feel more inclined to work on them. Set aside 10 minutes before you begin and imagine how you’ll feel when the job is done. Allow yourself to feel the feelings you’ll experience when you’ve accomplished what you set out to do – whether it’s satisfaction, pride, happiness, excitement, or simple relief. .In one word think the thoughts of successful life. This gets the good feelings flowing and motivates you to do what it takes to create that experience “for real.”
Tip #4 - Make a to-do list.
Sometimes confusion can cause a desire to procrastinate because your tasks seem to be too numerous and overwhelming. To combat this, take a sheet of paper and make a detailed list of everything you want to accomplish today. You can list them in order of priority, or categorize like tasks together. As you review
your list, think about ways you can cut the time each task might take, or shortcuts that would enable you to tackle more than one thing at a time. In no time you should be feeling more focused and ready to begin.
Tip #5 - Pray.
If you’re the spiritual type, why not spend a few minutes connecting to your source before you begin a challenging task? Give thanks for the opportunities in your life, and ask for the inspiration, courage and stamina to do a good job. This can help you feel that you’ve got a powerful ally on your side and reduce any feelings of fear or loneliness which can hinder your success in that particular task.
Tip #1- Just begin.
This is the most important habit you must develop as long as you want to have a successful life. It’s the start of any objective that is often the hardest for most of us, because we convince ourselves the task will be unpleasant or boring. However, you can trick yourself into believing that you’re only going to work on it for a few minutes. Grab that egg timer and set it for 15 minutes again. Promise yourself you can stop
working after 15 minutes if you want to, but you have to work at least that long. Most often, after the 15 minutes are up, you’re already “in the groove” so you don’t want to stop! I once read a book that is titled "Start With What You Have" , i like that title. You don't have to wait for perfect conditions before you start to live a successful life. Just start.
Tip #2 - Push yourself harder.
If you think it will take an hour to finish a particular task or goal, make it your mission to finish it in 30 minutes. This is one of the best ways that has helped me live a successful life. If you think you’re capable of a certain amount of productivity, push yourself to increase that output by at least half. Most of us have a terrible habit of coddling and pampering ourselves rather than pushing ourselves to be better and do better. Deciding to take it to the next level can motivate you to keep doing that and blast through any feelings of procrastination.
Tip #3 - Visualize the end result.
We usually avoid working hard or pushing ourselves just for the sake of doing so, but if you focus on a positive benefit to completing your tasks and you want to be successful at it then you’ll feel more inclined to work on them. Set aside 10 minutes before you begin and imagine how you’ll feel when the job is done. Allow yourself to feel the feelings you’ll experience when you’ve accomplished what you set out to do – whether it’s satisfaction, pride, happiness, excitement, or simple relief. .In one word think the thoughts of successful life. This gets the good feelings flowing and motivates you to do what it takes to create that experience “for real.”
Tip #4 - Make a to-do list.
Sometimes confusion can cause a desire to procrastinate because your tasks seem to be too numerous and overwhelming. To combat this, take a sheet of paper and make a detailed list of everything you want to accomplish today. You can list them in order of priority, or categorize like tasks together. As you review
your list, think about ways you can cut the time each task might take, or shortcuts that would enable you to tackle more than one thing at a time. In no time you should be feeling more focused and ready to begin.
Tip #5 - Pray.
If you’re the spiritual type, why not spend a few minutes connecting to your source before you begin a challenging task? Give thanks for the opportunities in your life, and ask for the inspiration, courage and stamina to do a good job. This can help you feel that you’ve got a powerful ally on your side and reduce any feelings of fear or loneliness which can hinder your success in that particular task.
Monday, August 29, 2011
NOW THAT YOU HAVE STARTED........
We started this topic some weeks ago about how to make a change in your personal life. Its a very good thing to make a change in your life especially when you know that you need to make the change. You know you are tired of going over the same mistakes , the same failures, the same boring issues that has made your life so boring even to yourself and just like a funny but true statement i heard recently, you are sick and tired of getting sick and tired. isn't that true and yet funny? each time you wake up in the morning or you procrastinate or you fall for that temptation or whatever it is that you wish to stop, each time you fall for it, it gets you so worried and discouraged but i want let you know today that there is hope for you as long as there is life there is hope and the fact that you are reading this right now confirms that.
So, you have made up your mind, you have written down the goals, you have written down the action points or steps, you have noted what to stop and what to start doing. Now what?
Now this is what you have to do to make sure you don't go back into those old ways.
1. Get a small paper and paste on your bathroom door/mirror atleast thats one place you are guaranteed to enter daily. Write on the small paper a reminder of your new way of life and always read it everytime you go to the bathroom until it becomes part of you. Just a line or two is enough, something just to tell you that you are now a new man or woman. Let it be in other places that you will see it daily.
2. Stick to it. There's a word i saw in a book some years ago and it has stuck to me since then. It is "Stick-to-it-tivness " . Whatever you have decided to stop, stick with that decision and stop the habit. Whatever you have decided to start doing stick to it and always do it. Whatever it is you have decided to learn, don't give up until have mastered the thing, don't stop the training, don't miss a class, don't jump a chapter but stick with it till you achieve your goal.
3. Get an accountability partner. Get a friend or sibling or someone that you know can be as a "check" on you. Someone that can call you to order when you slip back into your old ways. Report yourself to that person anytime you feel "slip up".
4. Anytime you make a mistake and you "fall" pick yourself up and try again, get on that journey again. Get on that road again,don't give up.
5.I know some things maybe very private, I mean some habits you want to stop maybe deeply personal issue but there is always a way to get someone to monitor you. For example you can cut off the source of that thing totally.If for example you keep falling inside a hole, a way out just stop following that path. Follow another path. And if you feel there's no other path then create one.
Don't just give up and think there's nothing for you to do. There's a always an opportunity for you as long as you are alive.Since you know the changes you are making will improve your life, so make sure you enjoy it, be happy and keep aiming for the life you really want.
Stay Strong.
So, you have made up your mind, you have written down the goals, you have written down the action points or steps, you have noted what to stop and what to start doing. Now what?
Now this is what you have to do to make sure you don't go back into those old ways.
1. Get a small paper and paste on your bathroom door/mirror atleast thats one place you are guaranteed to enter daily. Write on the small paper a reminder of your new way of life and always read it everytime you go to the bathroom until it becomes part of you. Just a line or two is enough, something just to tell you that you are now a new man or woman. Let it be in other places that you will see it daily.
2. Stick to it. There's a word i saw in a book some years ago and it has stuck to me since then. It is "Stick-to-it-tivness " . Whatever you have decided to stop, stick with that decision and stop the habit. Whatever you have decided to start doing stick to it and always do it. Whatever it is you have decided to learn, don't give up until have mastered the thing, don't stop the training, don't miss a class, don't jump a chapter but stick with it till you achieve your goal.
3. Get an accountability partner. Get a friend or sibling or someone that you know can be as a "check" on you. Someone that can call you to order when you slip back into your old ways. Report yourself to that person anytime you feel "slip up".
4. Anytime you make a mistake and you "fall" pick yourself up and try again, get on that journey again. Get on that road again,don't give up.
5.I know some things maybe very private, I mean some habits you want to stop maybe deeply personal issue but there is always a way to get someone to monitor you. For example you can cut off the source of that thing totally.If for example you keep falling inside a hole, a way out just stop following that path. Follow another path. And if you feel there's no other path then create one.
Don't just give up and think there's nothing for you to do. There's a always an opportunity for you as long as you are alive.Since you know the changes you are making will improve your life, so make sure you enjoy it, be happy and keep aiming for the life you really want.
Stay Strong.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
"A Better You" Your 7 days program to self-improvement
I have been talking about how to make a change in your life and i came accross this interesting article and i decided to share with you here. Follow the steps and CHANGE NOW.
1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.
2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.
3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!
4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.
5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.
6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.
7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.
Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.
Hope you enjoyed this post? Do something about it today. I mean ACT ON what has been mentioned here. like i always say, stay strong.
1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.
2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.
3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!
4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.
5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.
6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.
7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.
Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.
Hope you enjoyed this post? Do something about it today. I mean ACT ON what has been mentioned here. like i always say, stay strong.
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